The Mask I Hide Behind
by xX-Yuna-Zoey-Xx
Summary: I hide behind a mask, and only one person has ever seen what I truly look like. Mentions of Slash and Self-Harm so if you don't like well don't read.


**The Mask I Hide Behind**

_I hide behind a mask, and only one person has ever seen what I truly look like._

_Mentions of Slash and Self-Harm so if you don't like well don't read._

_Chracters: Mainly Nick, Minor Mini, Liv, Grace, Franky, Alo & Rich_

_My OC: Ethan Valentine_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Skins Jamie Brittain and Bryan Elsley_

I have it all, great life, popularity, good grades, I'm rich, but I'm not happy. I miss my life before Roundview. Before Mum and Dad inherited all that money (still their clothes may have changed but their attitude still hasn't, I'm still a disappointment in their eyes when Lili is around), before I met Mini and her band of Barbie dolls.

Funnily enough I was happy once, back when I had Ethan, I'll admit I fucking loved him. He was the best mate in the world, we were so close to one another I say I spent more time with him than I did my own family. To this day I still remember all those days, all those nights we spent together. We trusted each other with our darkest secrets, I told him about my family life and he even told me about him being gay.

Then one day a few days before 'that day' the day my heart was broken, We made a blood pact, on that summer night out in the countryside under all those bright shining stars, we made a promise to each other. To be together for life, four days later he was murdered in a homophobic attack. Two years has passed by since then.

"Isn't that right babes?" Mini my girlfriend asks me snapping me out of my thoughts.

Putting my mask back on I reply "Sorry what baby?".

"I was saying about this weekend remember?" She replies throwing her arms around me.

"Oh right yeah, it's going to be epic" I reply winking at her. The three other girls squeal with glee. Suddenly we hear a loud roar of laughter from the other side of the cafeteria.

"Pfft, it's them" Mini scoffs looking over at Alo, Rich and Franky. Franky, what I did to her was horrible, I'm extremely sorry for what I did to her, I'd like to apologise but Mini would torture me for it. To be honest I'd love to be friends with them, they act like they haven't a care in the world, I throw a glance at Grace, I can see it in her eyes she wants to be over there with them too.

"Well if you'd excuse me girls I must be going now, chat to you later, especially you Mini" I say winking at Mini. I decided to bunk off the rest of the day and do my own thing, it won't be if I'm missing much I'll know it already.

I go off for a long walk letting my feet lead me to where ever they want to go. An hour later I arrive at a graveyard, bottle of alcohol in hand. I walk away towards a grave, to Ethan's grave.

"Hey mate, how've you been?" I ask not expecting an answer .

"I'm guessing not good seeing as your dead" I laugh awkwardly at what I said.

I lie down beside his grave using my elbow to prop me up. Taking the bottle of the alcohol I take a good long swig of it. I groan after the first swallow.

"Your favourite drink Double Vodka with your special ingredients, I'd give you some but you always said I was a greedy fucker" I say taking another drink from the bottle. A tear forms in my eyes and I'm not sure is it because of the drink or my memories.

I root through my pocket to find what I'm looking for. I pull out a pocket knife. To other people it looks like a piece of rusted up junk but to me it's something I'll treasure for the rest of my life.

"Ethan, you remember this?" I ask.

"Course you would, it's from that night, the night we gave ourselves to each other" I say aloud.

I look down at my right wrist the scar from the night still visible. I also look at my wrist band on my left wrist. I slide it down to my secret scar only Ethan would know about but he would never see it that I've cut Ethan's name into my wrist. I rub my finger along the lines of his name.

"Mate. I miss you!" I choke out through a sob. I let my emotions get the better of me as I breakdown.

"What I wouldn't give to have you back mate, I love you" I spent the rest of that day beside Ethan just talking and drinking. And when tomorrow returns I put back on the mask Nick Levan, the mask I hide behind.

_**A/N: So guys what you think? Came to me during an English class. So R&R and let me know what you think.**_

_**Zoey**_


End file.
